A client recently asked me, “When was the last time you had a crap day?”
“Do you mean for the whole day or part of the day?”
This got me thinking.
In the past 30 years, I have had a couple of events occur that ticked me off for about half an hour. My last full day of feeling emotionally down was when a relationship went south about 35 years ago and I had trouble dealing with it. This emotional “down” lasted for about a month.
My client commented, “You must have had a few down days. It’s normal for people to struggle. I often have crappy days that can last for a week.”
While it is normal, that doesn’t mean ‘normal’ is good.
I now have the skills to deal with any situation that arises. I’m lucky in that way for a number of reasons:
- I help clients every day to quickly deal with the traumas in their life. This allows me to use the same strategies on myself.
- Prevention is better than cure. I learn how to deal with situations before they arise. Through doing this, if they do arise, I’m prepared.
- I recognise I have choices. I have learnt to make choices that empower me rather than stress me; choices that lift me up rather than pull me down.
- I have learnt to control my thoughts.
- The people and things that used to tick me off, no longer do so. I now have the skills to handle them.
Being angry, upset, resentful, frustrated, depressed and anxious are a choice for me.
For many, they are not. They readily take on those states and then stay there for days, weeks, months or years.
They then achieve that state so often, it becomes their new ‘normal’.
Mind you, I used to be one of these people. With a name like Murphy – “whatever can wrong, will go wrong … “
Good ol’ Murphy’s Law.
One day, way back in the early 90’s, I made a decision to change.
I chose to be an optimistic Murphy J.
And this was the first step – making that decision.
Second step: Deciding on what sort of person I wanted to be.
Third step: Practicing the new skills I had learnt so they were no longer theory.
Fourth step: Placing a door person at the entrance to my subconscious to only allow in info that was good for me.
Just as I have done it, you can do the same.
Keep it simple, keep it fun.
You’ve got this.