When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work …

In my last article, I wrote about a guy who consulted with me because his wife had kissed another guy and fessed up. My client consulted with me because he was unable to move on. You can read about it here

While he thought about it at least three times every day over the past four months, he was feeling worse because he had had his wife, in his head, kissing this guy 3 x 120 days = 360 times.

Once is bad enough. Three hundred and sixty times would be absolutely devastating.

And you can back it in the video content would get worse as time progressed!

After a couple of sessions of consulting with me, this guy was not improving.

I asked if he had ever been in a bad relationship before.

“Yes” he responded.

“How many?”

“Four. Each time the girl left me for another guy. The worst one was the first where I could have ended my life I felt so bad.”

“Did you play negative movies with each of these?”


Ouch! Imagine playing these negative movies over and over in your head. It’s like, he is now so used to the woman playing up on him, even though at one level he doesn’t want it.

A lot of things now come into play.

He has learnt much from these experiences, like:

* Don’t trust women. Every relationship he goes into, he has expected the woman to play up on him – and she has!

* This produced much anger towards women – particularly in a relationship.

* “I am not good enough. If I was, each lady would have stayed with me.” 

To counteract these, he puts his partner to the test to see if they are going to leave him – thus, he treats them poorly and gets angry.

And, surprise, surprise, they leave him which then reinforces his beliefs of not trusting women and he not being good enough.

It’s also important for him to play a confident positive movie in his head and reinforce this.

I’m now interested to see how he goes after changing his mindset to one of having the confidence to make it work.

I’ll let you know how he goes.

This is where, if we are not getting result, we need to look at our programming to identify what is holding us back.

You’ve got this.