One of the greatest joys we can have is to be in a ‘magical’ relationship.
What makes it magical?
The ability to get on with each other, do things for each other, to care, love and be there for your partner. It also includes being happy, positive and having fun.
Most only experience this some of the time – especially at the start of a relationship.
To many, their relationship is filled with mistrust, resentment, misunderstanding, selfishness, arguments, control and each person’s needs not being met.
Once a relationship starts going pear-shaped, things generally become worse.
I often consult with a client like “Linda” who had recently come out of a bad relationship where her partner was a liar, had to get his own way, had an affair and never considered her.
She asked “Why does this keep happening to me? This is the third relationship where I have been with someone who turned out to be horrible.”
At least she realises she has a pattern happening.
And this pattern is repeating itself.
As well as looking at why it is happening, I also look at who she is attracting.
“Tell me about your ideal partner. What are the traits you would love to have?”
Linda begins listing them.
“He has to be kind, respectful, loving, trustworthy, enjoy intimacy, a good communicator …”
And the list went on.
We ended up with 26 traits written on my white board.
Linda had a big smile as she looked at the traits. “Hmm. It would be nice to find a man with all those traits.”
“Yes, it would. They are out there. Now, let’s go through the list and see how many YOU tick.”
Well, this was a very interesting exercise for Linda.
She only had 17 traits ticked.
Think of what that means.
While she wants the best traits in a partner, she is not showing up with all these traits.
Chances of her meeting her Ideal guy are slim.
Linda may not see the difference between the guy and herself. The ideal guy, will.
She then had one of those “Ah-ha” moments where she realised one of the reasons she was attracting the wrong type of guy.
Most people want the best yet show up with some undesirable traits.
If you want to be in a great relationship, make sure you first have all the ideal traits.
Who you attract is going to reflect who you feel you are worthy of.
And if you are currently in a relationship, it pays to bring the best you forward at all times.
Not only will you gain the benefit, your partner will also gain the benefit.
You’ve got this.