This Was Always Going To Fail

One of the shows I watch is “Married At First Sight” where ‘experts’ select two people they think will make a great a couple. The first time they see each other is at the altar when they get married. They then have a reception, go on a honeymoon and live together for the 8 weeks (which is the duration of the show).

The only reason I watch this is to gain some knowledge on what works and what doesn’t so I can help my relationship counselling clients.

What’s staggering is, it’s reported around 15,000 apply to be on the show. That’s 15,000 people who are unable to find a partner and keep them.

Wow! Imagine how many are in the same place and aren’t interested in going on a show.

Think about this. On the show, there are 12 couples selected. None of them can find a good relationship and keep it. So, what’s the chance of this working?

There is a lot to learn from this.

There are two BIG reasons why most of these relationships fail and fail badly.

First, many have been through a break-up in their past with devastating results.

As your mind is always out to protect you, they learn something from that bad experience, like “Don’t trust … (men, women or anyone)”. This often leads to a lack of trust, feeling vulnerable and not good enough.

Second, many feel insecure because of their body or how they feel about life. They lack confidence and self-esteem.

Most try and overcome these insecurities within the relationship. They live in hope their partner will prop them up and only reinforce their good points.

Another point, you must be nice to your partner and work as a team. To do this, it’s critical to get rid of the need to always be right.

One lady on the show said “There are two ways to doing things: your way and my way. And my way is the only one that works”. She also stated she wore the pants in a relationship and she would never marry anyone who worked in retail or a nightclub.

Ouch. I’m just wondering why she’s having so much trouble finding the right guy!

She doesn’t need a partner, she needs a pup she can train and control :-).

Another guy is 26 years of age, acts 15 and appears to be a mummy’s boy. He has never been in a relationship and thinks he has the best body and the best personality, ever! He commented the lady that gets him will think she has won the lottery. Umm, the only problem with this is there are no tickets available as he bought the lot J (has tickets on himself!).

The ‘experts’ paired him up with a savvy lady that has been emotionally hurt in her past. Within the first few hours of meeting him, she has identified so many pink and red flags that will stop this from working. One I suggest is – it’s illegal for a 28-year-old woman to marry a 15-year-old 🙂

I’m still trying to work out why he hasn’t been in a relationship.

If you are having trouble getting into a relationship or are having trouble making one work, there is always a reason. If you would like some help in fixing this, please get in contact with me as the problem is often easy to fix. Many of my clients have gone on to meet the person of their dreams and enjoy a wonderful relationship with them.

You’ve got this.