Relationships are one of the hardest things to succeed in. They involve two people coming together who often have different backgrounds, ideas, beliefs and ways of doing things.
In order to make your relationship a success, identify those areas that are failing and correct them as well as reinforce those areas that are working well.
The following are some of the main factors that are required to make a relationship a success. Score each out of 10 (with 10 being perfect and 0 a big problem). Once you have scored it, get your partner to do the same without seeing your scores.
_____ Honesty – are you totally honest with each other? Can you tell each other anything?
_____ Trust – do you completely trust your partner? Can you view their emails and text messages or do they have something to hide?
_____ Effective Communication – how effective is your communication? Do you listen or over-ride, discuss or argue, talk about problems or discuss solutions?
_____ Respect – do you respect each other for what you do, say and think? The opposite to Respect is degrading your partner – directly or when speaking with others.
_____ Understanding – is there understanding as to why your partner does things?
_____ Commitment – how committed are you to making this relationship a success? How much do you work on it?
_____ Compromise – do you respect each other’s point of view and work things out for a win/win (as against one person having to be right)? Are you stubborn? Are you solution orientated or do you keep arguing about the problem?
_____ Unconditional Love – do you love each other unconditionally? How much do you love your partner?
_____ Individuality – are you allowed to do things by yourself and have your own space?
_____ Share – do you share your experiences and your tasks/chores?
_____ Intimacy – do you enjoy closeness, romance and love making?
_____ Willingness to Resolve Conflict – at the time it arises for a win/win result? How willing are you to find a solution that’s best for both of you (as against what’s best for you)?
_____ Develop Together – do you constantly work on improving yourself and your relationship?
_____ Fun – do you have fun together at home and when out?
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Compare your score with your partner’s.
If either of you score a question below 10, you both need to work on that area. The lower the score, the more work that is needed. Once you help each other, you both enjoy that area fully.
For example, one may score poorly for Honesty. When asked, they say they are unable to say what they truly feel for fear of being emotionally put down. Whether the second person thinks this is right or wrong, it is important for them to take it on board and allow their partner to have the freedom to say what they like without the fear of being ridiculed.
This will now bring them closer together.
Complete this exercise regularly to ensure you are both enjoying this relationship.
Think about how important your relationship is to you. Is it worth working on to make it the best it could be?
Sadly, most people don’t realize what they have until they have lost it.
When all the above ingredients are present in your relationship … you have love, happiness, harmony and most importantly, a “magical” relationship.
Reference: “Creating A Magical Relationship. A Practical Guide To What Men Want And Women Need” Book by Clive Murphy