This used to happen to me regularly.
And it happens to many of my clients.
“I’m stressed out and I’m angry.”
“Why are you angry?”
“I’m angry because I am stressed out and tired.”
“What are your stresses?”
“I am working long hours at work so feel tired and am having trouble coping with the pressure to get things done on time. We have just purchased a new home and my partner is not working at the moment. We have three children under 10 years who play two sports each and go to a private school. This is creating some financial and time stress as my partner wants me to be home early so I can help run them around and at home. My mother has just been admitted to hospital with a heart problem and I’m worried about her.”
This client has a lot going on.
Your brain puts all like things into a compartment. For example, stress.
Every time something stresses you out, stress is added to this compartment. You begin to feel overwhelmed, tired and frustrated.
Frustration occurs when things are not working out and it feels like you are pumping up a balloon. It reaches a point where you only need a small amount of air to enter the balloon and it pops. Your brain can do the same. When it is full of frustration, you can lose it and chuck a tanty or you implode on the inside and have a small, or large, breakdown.
To fix this, take a pen and pad and write down all the things that are stressing you.
This takes them out of the ‘stress’ compartment so you can view them individually.
One BIG compartment of ‘stress’ is much harder to fix than five smaller compartments.
Once you have your list, either prioritise which one to work on first or which one you can easily deal with.
When we dissect the above example, we have ‘smaller’ compartments of: working long hours, work pressure, home loan, children playing two sports, school fees, sick mother.
We can now prioritise them or fix the easiest one.
And I’m sure you would be able to come up with a heap of suggestions as to what this client could do to lighten the load.
While my client focused on the problem and how bad it was, it was only getting worse.
“Where your attention goes, your energy flows”.
Focus on how bad things are, and they will get worse.
Back to the example. My client left with a road map of possibilities. It’s important she and her partner start focusing on solutions and good outcomes for each presenting challenge.
Remember, every problem has a solution.
If you are unsure of what that could be, seek some help.
You’ve got this.