Do You Sing This Song?

Do you ever find yourself singing a song you have just heard.

I do it regularly. It may be while I am preparing breakfast, in the shower or walking to work. It gets to a point where I am unable to get that song out of my head.

And the more you sing it, the better you know it. Just ask a Taylor Swift fan!

Do you ever sing a negative song?

You may if it’s catchy.

Most people ‘sing’ a negative song and are unaware of the consequences.

Let me explain.

In my late 20’s, when someone did something to upset me, I would stew on it. I would run the event around and around in my head. For example, if I asked my partner to do something and she constantly didn’t, I would start this conversation with myself: “Why doesn’t she do it? Why won’t she listen? It was a simple request. Is she not interested? Does she not want to be with me? Is there someone else?”

After repeating this dialogue many times, it became like a “song”, and I knew the words perfectly. I could recite them at a moments notice.

What started out as a simple question of “Why doesn’t she do it?”, developed into a number of verses where I’m thinking she is going to leave me.

As time passed, more verses were added to the song and the ‘replay’ button was constantly on.

The song was depressing. It had to change. I began to then create another verse of solutions. “What if I bring the topic up and discuss it with her?”

This only led to more hypothetical questions, like “What if she gets cranky and goes off tap at me or says I’m stupid?”

I then started thinking about worst case scenarios.

And before I knew it, I was unconsciously repeating this ‘song’.

Can you relate to this?

We play these songs or movies over and over in our head and they become our reality.

I had to play a different song. A song that covered what I loved about my girlfriend. This would pull me closer to her.

The problem was, this was more difficult than I thought it would be. The old song was so fixated and I knew the words so well.

Fast forward to today. If a negative ‘song’ starts to be constructed, I immediately change it to a positive one. If the above example occurred today, I would now ask kind questions to find out why my requests are not being done.

What songs are you singing?

Let’s start singing songs that empower us.

You’ve got this.