I was watching an episode of The Block, a reality show where five couples each renovate their house and get judged on it.
In this episode, Sharon (a contestant) reacted to another contestant saying she and her partner were the worst painters. Sharon immediately arose from the dinner table and left feeling emotionally hurt.
This happens all so often in real life. Someone says something we don’t like and we react. We then either take them on verbally and start an argument (saying they started it) or we stew on it and start calling other contestants (or friends) to tell them how we feel, how we have been treated badly with the aim of getting as many people on side as we can. It becomes us versus the person who said what we didn’t like. The more I get people on side, the more it validates I am right.
As most people hate conflict, the person making the initial accusation can feel bad they have really upset another person. They then try to apologise.
Problem is, the damage is done!
Can you relate to this?
This type of thinking and action uses up a lot of energy and can alienate friends and loved ones.
It can cause much worry and stress.
In the given example, the best solution was for Sharon to smile and say publicly “You’re right. We are hopeless at painting.” Everyone would have moved on and thought nothing of it.
It’s a great trait to be able to admit the truth.
This truth is not saying Sharon is a bad person.
Sharon takes it personally and sees herself as being a bad painter. This is then interpreted as she is not as good as the others – even as a person.
Much in life comes back to the fact that we have to be right, we have to be the best, we have to be a winner and we need to look attractive. Through feeling this, it validates we are a good person.
Or does it?
It’s our ego that has to be right, that has to get it’s own way to feel good.
Being wrong does not make you a bad person.
Being poor in performing a task does not make you a bad person.
Being overweight does not make you a bad person.
Your attitude to YOU does determine whether you see yourself as a good or a bad person. The way you see yourself will be reflected out into the world.
And if you don’t like yourself, others will pick up on this and will form a similar opinion of you.
Funny enough, it all starts with YOU.
Love who you are. You have so much to offer.
Recognise what you have to offer.