How do you handle the following:
Someone does something to you that you do not like?
Something goes wrong?
Your partner leaves you?
Your children do not talk to you?
You fail at a task?
Do you get cranky, angry or frustrated?
Do you feel disappointed or upset?
Do you feel like seeking revenge?
If you are like most people, you will react in a negative way.
Once the unwanted event occurs, you first feel the emotion – whether it be frustration, anger or confusion.
Next, you begin a conversation with yourself and perhaps others.
You may dwell on the problem (and ultimately make it worse). You may even find yourself talking to yourself and others about how bad it is.
You may even say “They’re not allowed to do that”, “That’s not fair” or “I’m going to make them pay”.
You may even blame yourself. “How could I be so stupid?”, “I’m an idiot for letting that happen” and “Things always go wrong for me”.
Can you relate to any of this?
It’s easy to keep blaming others or yourself for what is going wrong.
Does this fix the problem?
When you blame others, there is only one solution: They have to do something to fix the problem. After all, it’s their fault this is happening to you. It’s their fault you are suffering. It’s their fault you are in this position. If they would only fix it, things would be great.
What’s the chance of them doing that?
I would suggest Nil – which means you get more of the same.
A 29-year-old lady had been divorced three times. Her explanation – “Bloody men. They’re all the same. They all do the wrong thing by me”.
And yes, men had done the wrong thing by her.
Do you think this lady had an issue that needed addressing? Do you think she was doing something to attract the same type of man into her life?
She had a choice: do nothing and continue to attract the same type of men OR take ownership and identify why she was attracting the same type of men. This would allow her to change her thinking so she could attract her ideal man.
And this is what happened. She has neem with her current husband for over 20 years.
You, too, have a choice. Blame others or yourself for what is happening in your life OR take responsibility for what has happened so YOU can move forward.
Even though others can be the blame, blaming them is not going to change things. Through taking ownership, you start to determine how you want to feel and move forward.
Observe someone blaming another person or thing for what has gone wrong and see how long it takes them to move forward.
Where are you blaming others or yourself?
It’s now time to change.
It’s time to get unstuck and move forward.
You’ve got this.
PS: If you have created a pattern of the same thing reoccurring in your life and you would like some help to change it, please feel free to contact me.