Are You Going Nowhere?
A beautiful rainy day here in Wagga Wagga. Nice to be indoors and working.
I ask clients what their end goal is for what they want to achieve. Let’s look at 2 examples:
- Overcoming depression. When asked what they want to achieve, most people say “I don’t want to be depressed”.
“Great. You are telling me what you don’t want, what it is it you do want?”
“I want to feel better.”
No, you don’t!
These are really poor goals.
First, attempting to get out of a problem is rarely going to work because you are focusing on what you don’t want. Just hearing the word “depressed” is going to make you feel that way.
Second, define “better”.
While it means an improvement, it is non-specific and your brain will fail to process it.
Get specific with what you want to achieve. This may mean “feeling happy”.
This also needs to be taken one step further – which we will in another newsletter!
- Losing weight. When I ask clients why they want to lose weight, they often reply “To feel better, to be healthier and fitter.”
Again, these are terrible goals as they can’t be defined.
I’ll say “If you want to be fitter, that’s easily fixed. Walk around the room three times and you will be fitter”.
“That’s not what I want”.
“It’s what you asked for. What do you want?”
“I want to be able to run 1500 meters in 10 minutes and do 50 push-ups”.
Now we are specific.
When you set a goal to achieve something, be specific and keep it positive. Focus on where you are going.
You’ve got this.
