I met with “Bob” last week. Bob presented feeling depressed and frustrated.
He had been feeling this way for over 10 years.
Even though he was on medication and had sought emotional help, he was getting worse rather than better.
After taking his history, I began by explaining Problem V’s Solution. Bob thought the problem was the most important as you needed to know what the problem is to solve it.
And most people do this.
They put all their energy into the problem and how bad it is.
From doing this, the Problem gets bigger and worse.
The Solution is the most important. I needed to find out from him what the problem is and what his solution is.
What is it he wants to achieve?
Bob had no idea what his solution was.
So, if you are not building the Solution,
… you must be building the Problem.
And he was. He was getting worse.
When you have a Problem, identify it clearly. Even see if you can identify the cause of it as it is much easier to fix if you deal with the cause.
Sometimes people have no idea what the problem or the cause is. They simply know they feel like crap all the time.
Once you identify the Problem, define the Solution for you.
What is the state you want to achieve?
Some say “I want to feel better”.
“No, you don’t.” Better is half a percent.
Go for broke and define the best state. “I want to feel happy all the time.”
If you can’t identify the Problem or the cause, seek help.
If you can’t identify the solution, ask someone for help.
As the old saying goes:
If you are not going somewhere,
You must be going no-where.
From simply focusing on the Solution, Bob started to feel happier.
This is the first step of his journey to feeling Happy.
He is now focusing on where he wants to be/the way he wants to feel.
As the great saying goes: “Start with the end in mind”.
And if you are not sure on how to get from the Problem to the Solution, ask for help.
It’s a bit like using a GPS. You put in it where you are and your destination and the GPS shows you how to get there.
Well, sort of. It doesn’t always show you the best route. And we won’t go into what to do if that happens :-).
You’ve got this.
Make good things happen …